“If you take an oak tree seed, and you put it in a two foot pot, that seed will never become the oak tree that oak trees are capable of becoming…Ain’t nothing wrong with the seed. The seed just fell prey to the environment.” – Steve Harvey
On your health and fitness Odyssey, people will hold you back.
Knowingly or unknowingly, they’ll make you doubt yourself. They’ll comment on and joke about your efforts, demotivate you, and make you feel like you’re the odd one out.
(Which may even be true… Maybe you ARE the only person in your circle responsible enough to take their health into their own hands.)
We talked about setting your environment up for success in my recent article about Willpower (read it here).
Now, it’s time to do the same when it comes to the people around you.
Because something that can REALLY make it hard to reach your goals, is people in your direct environment holding you back, keeping you from realizing growth like crabs in a bucket.
POV: Your Environment Doesn't Support Your Goals
Picture this…
You FINALLY gather the courage to get started, so you take that scary first step by getting a gym membership or signing up with a nutrition coach…
But that incredible feeling of “I’m gonna do this!” soon fades after a handful of unnecessary remarks from others.
Whether it’s colleagues, friends or family members making fun of you choosing the healthier alternative, going for a run or workout instead of watching tv, saying “No, thank you” after being offered more alcohol or dessert…
It straight up SUCKS when you’re trying to do something for your own health and well-being, just to be brought down by the people around you.
This is often – but not always – due to:
- Their own insecurities. You taking action makes them realize they should do so as well. But it makes them uncomfortable so they take it out on you.
- Their ignorance. Meaning they’re not up to date with your plans and/or understand what you’re doing and why it’s important to you. A lot of times, this will be the case.
- Their own insecurities. You taking action makes them realize they should do so as well. But it makes them uncomfortable so they take it out on you.
So… What can you do about it?
Most People Will Skip This Uncomfortable Exercise...
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn
… I wasn’t going to include that quote because it’s overused. However I just HAD to drop it here because I need you to actually think about the 5 people you spend most time with.
STOP READING – This is an exercise that’s essential (not optional) for growth.
The following may be very confronting and uncomfortable. And if that’s the case, good! That means your environment likely isn’t conducive to your long term goals.
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- Those who do this exercise, and execute the steps I’m about to share will see growth beyond their imagination – and no, I’m not hyping things up here. These are straight facts.
- Those who do this exercise, and execute the steps I’m about to share will see growth beyond their imagination – and no, I’m not hyping things up here. These are straight facts.
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- Those who want to skip this exercise however, deep down know exactly WHY that’s the case… It’s because there are certain people in their direct environment who hold them back.
(And hey, if you’re the latter, know that it’s OK to feel a little confronted here! It means you are aware of one of the main hurdles to overcome in order to finally move forward.)
EXERCISE: please take a few minutes to think about those you spend most time with. Put your screen away, take a moment, and think about it. And if it helps, go on a walk, meditate, or journal about it.
What does your environment look like? Do these people support your journey and goals Does any of the following sound familiar?
– “I could never…”
– Remarks and jokes about your effort or lifestyle changes.
– “Ah, just have one”!, “aren’t you being a little restrictive?”, “live a little”, etc.
– “Aren’t you taking this health and fitness thing a little too far?”
– Continuing to offer you something you politely said no to.
– Constant negativity and complaining.
– Lazy and unhealthy behavior that goes against what you’re trying to achieve.
– Excessive alcohol consumption, living on little sleep, and eating a standard Western diet that consists of mostly highly processed foods.
– You don’t dare to bring up a healthy food suggestion/alternative, and feel suggestions to go on a walk or getting a workout in together will just be met with jokes and remarks.
– Old friends, or even relatives whose behavior, mindset, and current state goes directly against your goals.
I could keep listing examples, but you get it…
The hard truth is that if (some of) these statements hit a nerve, you’re going to have to take the matter in your own hands and do something about it.
At the end of the day, this is YOUR Odyssey. If those around you quite literally hold you back from achieving long term health and true happiness in life, then it’s time to put yourself in a better environment.
3 Steps for a More Supporting Environment
‘If you wanna change your life, change your environment.’ – Alex Hormozi
Now that you’ve created awareness by reflecting on your direct environment, you can start to improve the situation.
Cutting out certain people from your life – while often needed – is not the ONLY solution though.
At OCS we don’t take a restrictive approach to nutrition, but a more proactive and additive one. This is also how we want to approach our environment. So don’t go and end your old friendships or disown your family just yet (lol).
First things first – time for a good talk.
Clear communication is the solution to most, if not every problem. Sit down with them, and explain your ‘why’. Most of the time they’ll understand. Remember too that just because you choose to change your life, that doesn’t mean everyone’s automatically up to date.
YOU need to bring this up first.
Also, feel free to involve them if they’re interested. You may even inspire them to make a positive change too! And if they don’t, that’s OK too. Just make sure to set boundaries in that case.
What they do doesn’t have to affect you, and what you do doesn’t have to affect them. Or as like my coach says, “What you eat doesn’t make them shit”.
Second – surround yourself with likeminded people.
You deserve an environment of people who want to see you thrive, who will support you through thick and thin, and who have (already reached) similar goals.
To my fellow introverts out there. Yes, this does mean you need to go out and make new friends. But you’d be surprised how easy it is to make new connections at a gym for example. Remember that these people too are trying to make a positive change.
People don’t go to the gym to judge others, they go to improve themselves!
This is what ultimately helped me lose 30kg (60lbs) over a decade ago. I had been working out for a few months already, but it wasn’t until I stepped into the local CrossFit gym, made new friends, and met my coaches at the time, that my progress really took off.
The shared work ethic, external support, and being able to learn from those who actually knew what they were doing, made it so much easier to realize my goals!
Last but not least – When applicable, consider cutting out toxic people from your life.
If they don’t want to see you win, then they don’t deserve your energy. This one is direct and harsh, but sometimes needed to protect your energy at all costs.
It can be hard to accept that your sometimes lifelong friends are part of the problem. Hey, maybe you even need to set boundaries with your parents.
This is all difficult stuff to talk about, but at the end of the day you need to do what’s best for YOU. Now, let’s go and do exactly that.
Thank you for reading this article!!
Since you’re still here reading – I’d like to invite you to our free online community (click here to join) for support, more education and free resources, and most importantly an environment for you to CONNECT with people who actually want to see you win.
