Sustainably including social settings is one of the biggest roadblocks for many people to overcome.
It’s relatively simple to dial in your nutrition and habits when you’re following your day-to-day work schedule…
But what do you do when you DON’T follow your usual routines?
What do you do when you go out for food with friends, gather for that family dinner, or while on vacation?
In this blog, you’ll learn what to do when you’re not able to plan or cook your own meals, three simple steps to learn from every ‘special scenario’ that didn’t go as planned, and ultimately, how to create more balance around social settings – because there is no health and fitness Odyssey without them.
Before we begin, please know that the steps you’ll learn will only work if YOU work them. This is not a one-and-done solution but a process that OVERTIME can lead to food freedom and sustainable long-term results.
So, please, take what you’re about to learn and apply it right away. You probably have an evening out, family dinner, weekend, or trip coming up sometime soon. Use it as an opportunity to try this out!
The first step below is one you can take action on immediately. It’s also the most confronting and challenging one – and if you skip it, this whole framework will not work.
Let’s dive in.
Step 1 - Reflect on Past Experiences
Did you know that the information and feedback you need to figure this out is already there?
You already have it!
All we need to do is extract it from your brain, and you’ll know exactly what needs work.
Going off-plan, missing your macros, and over or under-eating happens. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t mean you have ruined a week of progress.
Many people respond to slip-ups by adding cardio, eating more or less based on what happened, or completely giving up for the rest of the week.
Then again, unfortunately, most people also don’t achieve their long-term goals because of these events and how they respond to them.
They don’t take a moment to self-reflect and address what actually happened. One possible reason for this could be ignorance, as not many coaches teach people how to handle these situations. Another reason is that us humans don’t particularly love confrontation.
So it becomes the old “I’ll try again on Monday,” and the cycle repeats.
Those typical behaviors are exactly what keeps people stuck from progressing toward their goals, so the trick is NOT to do what most people do.
Don’t give up after a minor slip-up; don’t punish yourself; instead, reflect on what happened and why.
Self-reflection is essential for success, which is why it’s the first step in this framework.
Please go ahead and think back to some of the following scenarios:
- Evenings out
- Family dinners
- Parties
- Weekend trips
- Work travel
- Vacations
- Holidays like Xmas, Easter, Thanksgiving…
- Any other days where things didn’t go as planned
Can you think of any episodes that you didn’t feel great about? What went ‘wrong’? Did you overeat or undereat? How did you respond in the moment, shortly after, and the next day?
Don’t stay at the surface level, though. It’s not just about WHAT happened. I need you to dig deeper to find the WHY.
As my mindset mentor, Dr. Kasey Jo Orvidas, likes to say; it’s about finding that ‘first domino’ that sets off the entire chain of events.
Who were you with? How did you feel? Where were you? Think about the exact moment and the hours leading up to the event and afterward.
I know these are uncomfortable questions. But only if you explore the real problem can you find the solution.
If you haven’t yet, please take a moment to follow this first step right away. Please take a few minutes to think, meditate, or journal on it.
Additional questions to ask yourself:
- What was my effort like?
- What did I do WELL last time?
- What can I do differently/better next time?
- If the same scenario comes up TOMORROW, what’s something I could try out? (This plays into the next step of our framework.)
Set out to find that first domino, sit with it, and unpack it.
Remember that failures are unique learning opportunities strategically placed along your path to test your mindset, skills, habits, and ability to keep going.
Lean into friction, and you’ll overcome any obstacle.
Step 2 - Plan for What You'll Try Next Time
Once you have the information and feedback from past events, you can figure out a strategy for the next time a similar scenario comes up.
You want to be proactive about this and go in with a plan.
Real talk: weekends, parties, vacations, etc., usually don’t come as a surprise. You know when something’s coming up days, weeks, or even months ahead.
This puts you in the unique position to brainstorm what you want to try and seek help if needed.
It’s OK to ask for support if you can’t figure it out, by the way! If anything, it’s one of the best things you can do. Can you think of someone who’d want to help you out?
If not, please know that my DMs are always open (click to message). You can ask me anything, anytime. I mean it; I’m here for you.
Or if you are going to solo these steps, get clear on your goals and set realistic expectations for yourself. Consider:
- Where you’re at in your journey (if you’re a beginner, then give yourself some grace and understand that you’re still in the early learning stages of your Odyssey)
- Your goals
- Current phase (fat loss, maintenance, muscle gain, etc.)
- Habits that are already in place
- Habits you still want to form
But of course, a plan means nothing until you try it. That’s why the next step is…
Step 3 - Execute, AKA 'Do The Thing'!
After reflection and planning comes execution.
It’s the only thing that allows you to find balance in these social settings and achieve food freedom – ‘doing the thing’ so you can continue to learn from this process.
Because step 3 isn’t your final step. Afterward, you can go straight into step 1 and reflect on how it went. Sometimes, your plan works out immediately, or you’ll at least do better than last time. Other times, it doesn’t, which just means we need to go back to the drawing board and try something else.
Going back to being proactive…
Promise yourself not to just think about what you ‘did wrong.’ This process may be confronting, but isn’t meant for beating yourself up. It’s a learning experience.
Also, promise not just to plan but to actively execute your plan.
Example:
- Last time, I overate because I didn’t eat as much during the day. I wanted to save calories for the evening, which made me more hungry before getting to the restaurant. Before we even got our food, I devoured two bread baskets. The food was nice, and I had a great time, but afterward, I felt like a balloon and guilty for overeating that night.
- Next time, I won’t undereat during the day but instead prioritize filling meals with plenty of protein. I like the restaurant and still want to enjoy all the great food they serve. So, I’ll go for something lighter yet voluminous for lunch to save some calories, but I won’t overdo it. Then, before I leave, I’ll have a protein shake to keep me satiated until we get our first course.
- Now, it’s all about doing. I prepped a big salad with a good amount of protein for lunch, had my shake ready for later, and went in. Also, I stayed mindful of how fast I ate at the restaurant and enjoyed my evening.
You won’t know if your plan works until you follow it. Then, remember to go back to step 1 to reflect on how it went!
Repeat These Steps to Master Any Social Setting (Without Overeating)
You might’ve opened this blog, thinking you’d get specific steps to follow. But there’s not one ‘perfect’ solution for everyone in every scenario.
I didn’t want this to be another ‘best hacks for X’ post without context or the opportunity for you to dig deeper and find the TRUE problem, that first domino.
Sure, we can talk about fiber and protein, and in the future, I will write a follow-up article to discuss some potential actions to include in your plan. But for now, we need to start with the big picture.
So, let’s begin this repeatable process today.
Take your time, and know that it’s OK not to get it the first (few) time(s) and that only by failing will you learn what to try differently next.
Don’t think all or nothing, don’t expect to get it perfect and don’t think ‘on’ or ‘off’ plan.
Instead, try to see this as a game you can only win by continuing to play the game.
Reflect, plan, execute, repeat.
Good luck, and thank you for reading 🙂
